EMPATH vs. NARCISSIST
I recently watched a great podcast hosted by Staffing Industry Titan, Suky Sodhi , with Andrea Mancini , Vice President of Sales at Adecco Canada – “How to Perfectly Balance Empathy and Assertiveness in Leadership”. See: https://www.linkedin.com/posts/sukysodhi_how-to-perfectly-balance-empathy-and-assertiveness-activity-7279498510947758080-5y2C?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop
I added my 10c worth to the comments, i.e., “Watched this now, several times! Wow! Nailed it!! Agreed: “Sales is a Contact Sport” - like any sport, it’s driven by passion & emotion, executed with talent - honed on the “training ground”. However, at the end of the game - no matter how much passion, emotion, and talent has been injected into the result - using the data to analyse the performance strips out all the emotion and tells the “real story”. The “story” needs to be delivered in a way that works to get the best result that’s a win win for all in the next “game” …. Empathy in delivering the message re performance is key - however, empathy can be delivered with a soft touch through to “tough love” … Always easier, when you are actually qualified due to your own track record of success (and failures) to do so…”
Suky Sodhi replied; “…when you strip out the emotion and only look at data as just that "data," you can't argue with it. The challenge arises when either party attaches a personal emotion to it, and the conversation becomes difficult or derailed. You can't control what someone says or does, but you can control how you receive it.”
My retort, “Agreed!! However, if the “rules of the game” are made clear from the get go - communication - clear and constant (including positive agitation) helps - no one likes negative messaging, especially when the direct leader uses someone else to do the “dirty work”, that includes bringing the axe to the meeting … nothing worse than a leader who abdicates having “tough conversations” - I call them the “Teflon kids” - nothing sticks to them; they only want to be seen as the ‘good guy’…”
Reflecting on the great podcast and the comments above; it’s made me realise how prevalent the term Empathetic Leadership is, and such a “hot topic”, like EQ was 15-20 years ago...
The benefits of being an Empathetic Leader are obvious; improved team morale, higher retention rates, enhanced problem-solving, greater organizational trust…
Here’s the thing; how many true Empathetic Leaders are out there? I recently had a reach out from an aspiring young leader who has been doing their level best to lead with empathy, however, has the misfortune of reporting into a narcissist – in my view the polar opposite to an empath! On unpacking the challenges being faced and possible scenarios how to deal with the said narcissist, as the young leader is simply not in a financial position to simply quit – a few lines from the 2023 movie, The Killer came to mind…
“…Stick to the plan
Anticipate, don’t improvise
Trust no one
Never yield an advantage
Fight only the battle you are paid to fight
Forbid empathy, empathy is weakness
Weakness is vulnerability
Each and every step of the way ask yourself
What’s in it for me?
This is what it takes
You must commit yourself to this, if you want to succeed…”
Now, I’m not suggesting the quote above is the answer, however, when one is in “survival mode”, this may well be the only option as you look at finding the door to exit stage left…
MC
